A Dark Shadow Being


I was living in Santa Barbara, CA with my husband and two children.  My son was about 4 yrs old and my daughter was about 6 mos.  I was working full-time and quite frankly I was exhausted.  On top of all that, we had bought a new, used, fixer-upper house that kept us all very busy.  The baby was not sleeping during the night and it seemed when she would wake up, my son would wake up too.  I was not getting any consistent, long-term sleep and basically I developed insomnia.  Being who I am, if I don’t get enough sleep, I seem to go inter-dimensional and out-of-body very easily.  I also see into the inner planes and astral fields very easily, sometimes even when I do get sleep, so it was not a good thing at all having sleep deprivation; in that, the inner-plane world becomes very real and visible to me a lot.

Now I know that God, my Guides, the Masters and the Angels are over-lighting everything in my experience here; so I know (now) to trust that; but then, I didn’t know how to deal with it.  In my world, I couldn’t and didn’t talk about these inner-realms experiences to anyone and feel I’d be received, so I didn’t.

One Saturday afternoon, when I was home and exhausted, I laid down on the couch while the baby was quietly sleeping in her room and my son was in the living room with me, watching TV, I drifted off to sleep (which I usually never do during the day).  I then went ‘out-of-body’, it was fun in an interesting way.  I could clearly see, hear and know all about all the people.  I clearly saw my son transfixed watching TV; I knew the peace my daughter was having as she took her nap; I had clear knowing of the work their father was doing outside in the yard also.  After exploring the room I was in, my consciousness seemed to be hovering around the ceiling, I reached out and expanded into the other rooms of the house, but nothing of importance was happening.  It seemed that the main point to my experience was to notice how acute my sense of hearing, sight and knowing was, being out of the body.  I understood that the Earth ‘body’ is quite dense and some of our sensory perceptions are naturally block.

I then started sensing my ‘Guides’ and it seemed, I might as well as go back into my body.  Well I couldn’t!  I tried and tried and I couldn’t get in!  I was not happy.  My mind came up with all kinds of ideas of how, ‘if I could just wiggle my little finger’, I might get in the body and then wake up.  But, it wasn’t’ happening.  So, I just kind of accepted it and then hovered around some more in the room.  I felt like my Guides were trying to have me notice something, as long as I was out of the body.  What I noticed was how happy I was without the heavy, Earth-body, in terms of senses and abilities.  Everything was so much clearer!  And though I was even more sensitive to sight, sound and knowing, I was also ‘detached’ (just non-emotional witnessing) to what I was experiencing.  Another thought came to me too, “This must be what it is like when someone is in a comma.” I thought, “Yes. It’s good to keep this in mind, in case further circumstances put me in contact with someone in a comma; I’d know that their consciousness would really know, to a fine degree, the thoughts and feelings of anyone around the body via sight, sound and knowing.”  I assumed the lesson was learned, because shortly after this realization, I returned to my body and I easily got inside this time.[1]

Some time passed and I again continued with even more sleep deprivation.  It was not good.  It seemed as soon as I could finally relax and maybe fall asleep, the baby or some disturbance would wake me up again, and again, and again.  “What’s the use?”  I thought.  I didn’t know what was more difficult:  Trying to sleep and getting woken up over and over or just surrendering to not any sleep at all.

But, nature being what it is, one afternoon, I did fall asleep in the middle of the day again.  All was ok, but as I was waking up, instead of the reality of ‘light’ or the 3-D physical reality we are used to living in, I was between worlds again, but this time I was in the astral field.  Ugh!  As I opened my eyes, I saw a very large dark being standing in the doorway, just opposite of me lying in bed, at my feet.  The dark being was so huge, he filled the door frame.  He was dark, smoky-like with red eyes and he was looking right at me.  As I came out of my sleep; at first, I was detached emotionally, just witnessing it; however, as I more fully came into the body and ‘woke-up’, I felt a lot of fear looking at the devil-like being.  At that moment, the big, dark being came right at me, right to my throat.  I felt my heart shudder and in a flash, I seem to pass out and go unconscious.  Yet in a few minutes, I woke up, but with a resolution to never take a nap again!

There was no one I could talk too I figured without sounding like a crazy person; I guess that has been my knowing my whole life.  Just keep my inner world to myself regardless of what I experience; but, this time I really needed help.  I just kept asking God to help me somehow.

I had just started a new job at work and an idea came to me about my boss.  She said she did Astrology.  I was happy to hear that, because that meant that she was open to more than just the simple 3-D, mental-mind, physical, business world like most people I knew.

Shortly, an opportunity availed itself to me one day, as I went to lunch with my boss.  Afterward, I found myself mentioning my experience.  This wasn’t easy for me, because if she didn’t understand how I felt, I thought I could lose my job.  Well, God is good and not only did she listen to me (with detachment, really), she gave me the best advise ever, she said, “Don’t worry about it.  Don’t you know?  You have the power!  You are in the body, not it!  And it knows it, so it is trying to scare you into believing it has the power to take you out.  But it doesn’t.  So just tell it to go away!”

As she said this, I didn’t say much, but I took it in.  I thought, “She can’t be serious.  She doesn’t know how terrifying all this has been.  It can’t be that easy.”  But, as time went by, her words took hold and I seem to gain a change in perspective.  Slowly, but surely my attitude towards this devil-dark being happened, I changed from a place of fear, to one of self-empowerment!  Though at first being a bit angry helped me: “Come on…go ahead and show yourself again!  Just bring it on!” I said to the being energetically.  But guess what?  It never came again.  Later, I realized I was no longer a vibrational/ energetic match to the being.  He projected anger, fear and dark energies, while I now felt empowered and fearless.  As time went on and I understood more of the Universal Laws, I calmed down and could relax.

Later, I learned another ‘tool’, it came from Mother Mary.  She told me, because of whom I am, it’s easy for me to travel the inner-realms.  So, not to get caught in some astral realm as I go out-of-body every night (sometimes day) like all the rest of the people by sleeping or taking naps; I needed to always say a ‘prayer’ before I went to sleep.  Also, she taught me, was to learn a prayer, such as the ‘Ascension Hail Mary’s’[2] so well, that as I transition from the physical realm to the etheric realms, even in my sleep, all I have to say is: ‘Hail Mary’ and she is instantly there along with all her Light and will guide me safely back into my body without any astral disturbance or interference. And so it has been for me for many long years.  I can say ‘Hail Mary’, even in my sleep and be safe and at peace.  Thank you Mother Mary!

[1] Later in my life, I did get to use this out-of-body knowledge with a family member and it was very helpful.

[2] “Dear God–Mother-Mary, Full of Grace; The Lord is Thee and me!  Blessed are we, as is all of Creator; Blessed is the fruit of Our Union, the Christ.  I Am Holy God-Mother, in Divine Union, merged in me now; Loving, feeling God-Mother-Mary; For I have consciously integrated my Soul-Monad plan of Ascension; Grateful for self-regeneration, rejuvenation and Life!  Right now and forever more in Loving Presence I Am!”


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Celeste Mary

After a major transformation in 2001, I found I could go long periods of time without much food or water. I also traveled the world on many magical/miraculous journeys with Spirit for about 17 yrs. I am writing now to share some of those experiences with others.

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